Thursday, March 16, 2006

Jeffrey Dahmer Has Some Thoughts on Arctic Monkeys

Is all the hype justified? Are they really that good? I don't know. I think they're good at one certain thing. The single, "I Bet You Good on the Dancefloor," is that thing. Great single. Catchy as all get out. A powerhouse performed live. But seeing them live and hearing their catalog in totality, their youth and their one-dimensionality become plainly obvious. That said, still not the worst show I've ever seen. I danced. I howled. I got my money's worth.

Wanna know something funny? Whenever the singer says "I'll bet you look good on the dancefloor" in that song, I hear, "I'll bet you look good on the refridgerator shelf." Is that hilarious? Must be the accent.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Abraham Lincoln Has Some Thoughts on "Crash."

Didn't love it. Too contrived. Seriously, what's the chance that some racist cop is gonna end up responding to a car wreck involving the very same black woman that he molested on a traffic stop earlier that day? I mean, of course he's gonna try and pull her from the wreckage. That's his job. Know what I mean? It's like writing a movie where Mother Theresa has a chance to go back in time to kill Hitler as a child. Of course she's gonna do it. So, congratulations, you've proven that under certain circumstances, Mother Theresa could be compelled to commit murder. Here's your Oscar.

Then again, the acting was pretty good. Black people can star in movies, huh? I mean, no, that's cool. Just kind of took me by surprise. I'm just saying, like, why not get a white actor who's gonna be better and put him in black face? Is it a budget thing, because it's an independant film? Just curious.

Monday, March 06, 2006

"Hot In Here," An Early Draft

It's getting hot in here/
So take off all your clothes/
I am/
indeed feeling the rise in temperature/
I plan to disrobe, accordingly