Saturday, November 25, 2006

The Rumsfeld Sex Tape: Real or Fake?

dupont77: It's the glasses that give it away.
internforever46: What? He's not wearing glasses.
dupont77: They're on the night stand. Go to 3:23.
dupont77: See them?
internforever46: I think.
dupont77: Look by the lava lamp.
internforever46: Okay, sure.
internforever46: Dunno.
internforever46: Still not convinced it's him.
internforever46: This guy looks like he's really in shape.
dupont77: It has to be him. The timing is just too perfect.
internforever46: Because he resigned?
dupont77: He didn't resign, he was pushed out. Bush fucked him.
dupont77: Really fucked him.
dupont77: Said it wasn't even a question before the midterms, Rumsfeld is staying.
dupont77: Then as soon as they lost the House and Senate, boom.
dupont77: Gone.
dupont77: Humiliating.
dupont77: One week later...
internforever46: Sex Tape.
dupont77: Sex. Motherfucking. Tape.
internforever46: Makes sense.
internforever46: What's the tattoo say?
dupont77: On him or her?
internforever46: Him.
dupont77: Best shot of it is at 20:23.
internforever46: Going there, hold on.
dupont77: I think it's a scarecrow.
internforever46: Maybe. What's it holding in its right hand?
dupont77: Zooming in.
dupont77: It's a bottle of Captains Morgan.
internforever46: A bottle of rum?
dupont77: Booyah, Rumsfeld! Confirmed!
internforever46: That is really creepy.
internforever46: Here's a question. Who's filming?
dupont77: Oh, yeah...really good question.
dupont77: Cheney.
dupont77: Gotta be.
internforever46: You're so right.
dupont77: Those guys go back.
internforever46: Way back.
dupont77: Bet the whole thing was his idea.
dupont77: Cheney's behind everything these guys do.
dupont77: The war was his baby.
dupont77: Warrantless wiretaps.
dupont77: Extraordinary renditions.
internforever46: Speaking of...
internforever46: Listen to her moan...
dupont77: Rumsfeld-- still got it.
dupont77: Like the '80s never ended.
dupont77: This is not your father's Rumsfeld.
internforever46: Come on, you don't think she's faking?
dupont77: Honestly.
dupont77: No.
internforever46: Dude, come on.
internforever46: The Bush Administration supplies you with a sex tape, and you take them on their word that the orgasm is real?
dupont77: I'm just going off what I'm seeing.
dupont77: I see a woman having an orgasm.
dupont77: She looks really flushed.
dupont77: Her brow, look at it.
dupont77: Her grip on that window curtain.
dupont77: You can't fake that kind of ecstasy.
internforever46: Whatever, Colin Powell.
internforever46: Her furrowed brow is your mobile weapons lab.
dupont77: Ah, I get it.
internforever46: You're gonna have to go before the UN, stake your credibility on this orgasm.
dupont77: Fine.
dupont77: I'm ready. I'm confident. Most of all, I'm loyal to my President.
internforever46: Your funeral.
internforever46: You're gonna be on Barbara Walters in a few weeks, saying the orgasm is a "blot" on your career.
dupont77: Yeah.
dupont77: Hottest. Blot. Ever.
dupont77: Oh shit, did you see that?
internforever46: What?
dupont77: In the mirror above the bed?
internforever46: Where?
dupont77: Go to 45:32.
dupont77: See that?
internforever46: Oh. My. God.
dupont77: Do you see who I see?
internforever46: McCain.
dupont77: McCain!
internforever46: McCain is holding the boom mic. Sweet jesus.
dupont77: Courting favor with the extreme right.
internforever46: The extremely hot right.
dupont77: Making his bones.
internforever46: The Straight Talk Express.
dupont77: Unbelievable.
internforever46: He looks ashamed.
dupont77: He should be.
internforever46: Did you notice? This whole thing's being filmed on a camera phone.
dupont77: Typical Rummy.

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