Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Highlights from the Upcoming Episode of "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" Featuring Karl Rove

- Reading through his profile in the car, Jay reminds everyone that Rove was the chief architect behind the president’s proposed Federal Marriage Amendment. Says Carson, “Wait till he meets me, suddenly he’ll be all about gay marriage.”

- Carson takes one look at Karl’s closet, recoils in horror. “I’m declaring this the new front in the war on terror.”

- Thom finds a 3-week old donut under Karl’s futon cushion, deems it “Couch-gate.”

- Kyan jokingly asks how Karl could ever let his mother see his bathroom like this. Karl replies that his mother committed suicide when he was 30. Jay shouts, “Awkward!”

- In preparation for a speech that evening before the American Enterprise Institute, Carson suggests Karl tie a Ralph Lauren sweater around his neck. “You want to say you’re about war, but you’re not ALL about war. Know what I mean?”

- Ted and Karl agree that in politics and food, simplicity and presentation are everything. “You think tax cuts, I think lemon-grilled fish in banana leaf wrap.”

- Thom implores Karl to only buy 600 thread count sheets from now on. “You’re the Deputy Chief of Staff in charge of policy, you’re worth it.”

- Karl cries joyful tears after Kyan convinces him to wax his back hair, saying, “I’ve always been so afraid.”

- Before going back to testify before a grand jury about the outing of a undercover CIA officer, Jay and Karl talk about what music to play in the car. They settle on Spoon’s “Don’t Let It Get You Down.”

No comments: