Tuesday, October 04, 2005

A Christmas Greeting from the Foners

Happy Holidays, Foner friends and family! Hope our little missive finds you healthy, wealthy and sufficiently bundled up (10 degrees here in Aurora. California we hate you!). It’s been quite a year here at the Chateau Foner (pronounced Fo-nare). We have so much to share, it was a real chore fitting it all into one letter!

Mark just put the finishing touches on another banner year as plant manager at PIP Industries. Quarterly earnings were up 10% from the same time last December. His annual goal of 6% productivity was quickly met, leaving ample time and resources to execute a much-needed inventory at the Joliet storehouse. This might sound like bragging. Or it might sound like you’re reading the cover page of the PIP internal newsletter for the greater North Eest, because guess who scored the “Model Manager” profile for the fourth time in five years (third consecutively)?!

And as if that weren’t enough, Mark also managed to shoot the best 9 holes of golf in his life! A 45 at Sweetwater Links! For the skeptical among you, a copy of the actual scorecard is enclosed. Cindy was there, too, she’ll be happy to verify.

What’s that? “Who’s Cindy?” You know, Cindy. Mark’s wife. Erin, Brian and Sarah’s mother. Don’t tell us you forgot about Cindy just because she doesn’t bother to write or call. We all agree communication was never her strong suit. Now, if we could just convince her!

Seriously though, Cindy’s doing fine. She’s bounced back from her firing at the hospital, for the most part. And now that the malpractice suit is settled, she’s free to talk about it, which our therapist is encouraging as part of her anger-management program. But whatever you do, don’t bring up the gift basket home business venture. Or the South Beach diet. Both have gone the way of the graduate nursing degree. Anyway, Cindy wants all of you to know her resolution this coming year is to be a better correspondent. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed.

Speaking of “fingers,” Brian has a new nickname on his baseball team. I don’t want to just come right out and say it, but I will give you a clue: it starts with a certain dairy product that tastes good spread on toast. Eric put forth a really great effort this year, but I think it’s clear to all of us in the family that he just doesn’t have a knack for athletics, or competition in general. Feel free to write Eric back with suggestions for career paths that don’t require leadership skills, endurance, cooperation or strategic thinking. We’re all stumped here!

Erin has applied to law school and painted her first chapel mural. Just kidding, this is Erin we’re talking about! She was accepted early admission to IU and already knows what sorority she wants to join. Here’s a milestone for you: 450. That’s either Erin’s height in centimeters or her SAT Math score. See if you can you guess which one.

Remember Sarah, that innocent little towhead who slept with her thumb in her mouth and loved dolphins? Well, believe it or not, she just turned 16 (33 if you go by her wardrobe). She scored a “lead role” in the school theatre production of Into The Woods (Daddy’s not allowed to say “understudy”), and her dancing has gone in some…interesting directions. Next month she’s going for her driver’s license. Wish her luck! Remind her gas prices are well over $3/gallon!

This past September Brian, Erin, Sarah and Mark took an exciting trip up to Niagara Falls. Highlights included the Maid of the Mist ride and Brian’s all-night battle with a plate of bad seafood. Sarah met a nice Canadian boy who I’m sure will threaten to come visit us, and Erin and I found a bag of marijuana that someone must have secretly stuffed into her purse! Can you imagine?

Anyway, that’s the 411 on the Foner clan. Until next time, have a relaxing holiday and an exciting and productive new year. Quick suggestion from Mark: try and do something fun and impulsive every once and a while, something none of us would expect. No offense, it’s that just some of your Christmas notes are starting to read like form letters!

Okay now!

Mark, Sarah, Erin and Brian

(Cindy’s name removed by request)


Danny Fisher said...

The signature is especially brilliant.

Mathis said...

Question: Did the post come before or after the picture?